1. |
||||
curse the sun and the stars for coming alive for you
curse the thing in my chest for thinking the best was suited
for all the wrong parts of me
curse the way i ignored the warnings from higher power
worse, the way i pled your charisma was singing louder than any toxicity
and i wait for the part of the road where it all smooths out
but this city wasn’t drawn around us
it’s a means to adjust
learning how to live when i’m all torn up
every single bend in every road is like a dent
in every door of every car and every love that i lament
i see my failures through the trees, i curse the light not turning green
a harsh circumstance
curse the sun and the stars for coming alive for you
earth was all i had left but we’ve made a mess of that too
of things not worth shining bout
curse the feelings i let convince me i’ve earned affliction
curse I-465, 146th and anything tantamount
anyway, it’s the part of the song where i figure it out
but i’m back to sickening cloud of dust
when you broke my trust
left with my dignity locked in your trunk
every blinking arrow just a turn i cannot make
away from all the friday traffic and an undesired fate
i pass your road and hang my head, at every light i’m seeing red
and a wicked expanse
every road in front of me, an itch upon my hand
the kind that worsens when you scratch it and you’ll never understand
that when that feeling’s in your heart it kinda catches you off guard
like the midwest sun
|
||||
2. |
Rest, Stop
03:08
|
|||
you taught your headaches to only come when i ask you to listen to my songs
you bought a heavy case of burdens for your door because you know that i’m not strong
you say i’m clingy just because i said hello after a week of no contact
you wait to see me until you know that i’ll be too damn tired to bring up why i’m mad
you’re like a rest stop eastbound
you’re all that’s here for miles and that’s why i stick around
but when i fix my ignition and my health
i will drive into the sunrise ‘til i do better for myself
you want me to be easy
just a thoughtless body shaped real nice to lay alongside yours
your heart concerns me deeply, but just not enough to fix it up myself anymore
you slander me to your friends
i just shrug ‘cuz you’re worse off here in my music repertoire
you can’t run from embarrassment
i hope you’re there when this song comes on in full volume in their cars
you are a rest stop northbound
you’re all that’s here for miles and that’s why i stick around
but oh the horror, when i fix my mental health
i’ll use this dumb experience to make a name for myself
you’re just a rest stop, can’t stop, rest not, dry rot mascot
flu shot deadlock roadblock hawkmoth loincloth foul shot robot blood clot
|
||||
3. |
||||
left my apartment key in your car
my God, what an awkward situation
just to have to call you and ask you to drive all this way
when i swore i’d never speak to you again for all eternity
and now you’ve left your watch on my nightstand
it’s one of those fancy ones where you can make phone calls
and i see this name, Lola, over and over, like a Kinks song
she sends an image meant for you and i’m embarrassed for us all
you seem to come back as soon as i’ve written you out of my head
i’d hung good riddance up with thumbtacks
and you rip it down when you kiss my neck
i probably deserve finer than your choice when you can’t find her
oh, i sing it with the choir: you messed with a writer
showed up at my door with my belongings
don’t speak to me again, you say with haste
then all my shit is on the floor as we attach our faces
like poorly-stitched embroidery made with veins on burlap canvas
and now you’ve left your body in my bed
and in your sleep you whisper all my tragic flaws
i simply laugh out loud awkwardly
maybe i’m not Laughing Out Loud At all.
I probably deserve finer ‘cuz you replace the hands on your skin where mine were
oh, i sing it with the choir: you messed with a writer
|
||||
4. |
Organic
03:15
|
|||
i slam my eyes closed
wont let you keep me awake with thoughts of avenues and loveless interstates
we sailed on every thursday from the day that we met
and drank the good traits and left the bad to ferment
i wasn’t reconciled in my innermost feuds
and you were textile, made of thrill and taboo
i’d dream of drowning
i’d quicken my breath and we’d swum until there was nothing left
and it was damn organic
those kids in westfield with more muscle than bone
they claim courageous yet they can’t sleep alone
they see the stars fall and they don’t wonder why
that introspection, can i teach you mine?
is it my presence that fuels your absence?
can the heavens be in a one-sided romance with hell?
when you kiss my neck it’s hard to tell
it’s all damn organic
|
||||
5. |
Indiana
03:49
|
|||
indiana, you’ve been playing tricks on me
what’s a girl gotta do for some fuckin peace?
i thought the open fields could replace the beach
maybe the (bitch/beach) was always in me
hospitality, more like a hot spit joke
these kids wouldn’t know decency if it sat within their throats
they learned from rural living that it’s nice to be alone
and meanwhile i’m so lonely that tell the dial tone
about my day
another day where the wind turned my cheeks to crimson drought
and i searched through real estate down south
and i spilled vats of liquor into my mouth
how do i stop the doubt from creeping in?
how can i love indiana again?
sanity, i guess you’re put up to the test
pacing in a livingroom for months in the midwest
I walk in fields of snow and spell out SOS
how much more clear could i get?
indiana, dear, your motives are askew
trynna make me hate myself when i came here to improve
you’re handing men to me i can’t seem to refuse
but they’re all slips and i can’t wait to get out of you
another day where the wind turned my cheeks to crimson drought
and i searched through real estate down south
and i spilled vats of liquor into my mouth
how do i stop the doubt from creeping in?
how can i love indiana again?
indiana, i remember when i drove
into you at sunset and you made yourself my home
the winter winds arrived and i wore thicker clothes
but cursed you out because i was still cold
indiana, thought you’d played your tricks on me
but i’ve the realization that it’s probably just me.
|
||||
6. |
||||
you’re plastic, you’re basic
you make me want to undo my lasik
so i’ll play sick ‘til you comprehend it
‘cuz unless we have an end
this whole fiasco will be endless
you’re sultry, you’re complex
i’ve not stopped thinking of you since you’ve left
i’m just your east-coast-raised lover turned to reject
and you’re the wild fire sign that i’d mistaken for the sunset
~
Today’s Horoscope:
imagine being in new hampshire in 2010
imagine having all the answers
just to be confused again
i didn’t want to fall for you
‘cuz i know i’m so skilled at getting hurt
and yet i’m sitting on my couch alone and drinking
and damn, i spilled some on your shirt
so dont hang around with leos if you’re a capricorn
don’t hang around leos, they’ll leave you hella torn
dont hang around with leos, they will mess up your life
and make you write songs about reverse surgery on your eyes all night
i havent even gotten LASIK, my sight is 20/20
but hindsight’s kinda funny ‘cuz it never requires glasses
|
||||
7. |
||||
in the darkest space of my ribcage
there’s a safe locked up by hieroglyphics
your chiseled face could cut through but no
you could die but you’ll never get my heart
on the quietest road in my hometown
there’s a dead spot on the grass where i sat sometimes
and thoughts of you is that same lonely feeling
so i’ll drive ‘til i get to where other people are
i dont wanna waste my time
on a weeklong romance followed by a year of sad songs
and you threaten the gearshift
park, to neutral and to drive
touch my hand to make me cry
at my weakest juncture you got me
mummified by a thought that you’ll make me alive
i’m alone, and it’s better that way
close my eyes and hide ’til i’m sleeping on a plane
if i’s the dream you’d still treat me like torture
throw a stone at my face then kiss soft on the bruise
all your love couldn’t hold a candle to freedom
i’m alive when i leave you ambered in your shame
couldn’t possibly waste my time
dwelling on this failure, writing like eleven-ish songs
but you made my whole life shift
some quadruple-twisted vine tied to pull me into your pride
if it’s true that we all have a soulmate
then i hope that for the sake of yours she chooses a
life where she is happiest with no man.
i mean no offense, but i’m praying for that girl
and i dont fancy wasting my time
singing bout someone who’d not learn hieroglyph to learn me
I am worth so much more than that
you’ll never see
|
||||
8. |
||||
9. |
Roundabouts
03:02
|
|||
I took the sun from my environment
and swallowed like a vitamin
and wondered why the cold came in
and I’m shocked I can write so damn extensively
‘bout someone who’d never write of me
and doesn’t even write nor read
and I found solace in sleeping on a thrifted couch
and blaming back pain on self-doubt
and falling into roundabouts of bad habits
but I’ll break them someday
I’ll figure it out
I shook my head as if it could refresh
the things that build themselves to stress
like I’m some sort of etch-a-sketch
and I sat alone in a restaurant away from town
and wrote all my shortcomings down
like a self-inflicted ultrasound
and I lost my voice yelling into open fields
for God himself to come and wield
this everlasting ferris wheel of bad habits
but I’ll break them someday
I’ll figure it out
help me figure it out
I claim the nature as my closest friend
I think I’ll stay the night again
and take the sun like doxepin
and I feel the pull of something telling me to live
but it’s all drawn in hieroglyph
I don’t know what my future is, but I’ll have it
and I’ll get it someday
I’ll figure it out
|
||||
10. |
This is Nice
03:40
|
|||
all the lights off, I dance alone
my silhouette lined in brass like a saxophone
think I might walk to a produce stand
and hold a healthy new ambition in my right hand
it’s all organic
I forget why that would hurt
I wipe summer sweat off with my cotton shirt
I chew tomato while the birds sing of love
the acidic nature of it all don’t bother me much
this is nice
open notebook, a vacant page
I flood a new work of fiction ‘bout a girl my age
she’s given poison then pours it into dirt
I think I might be strong enough to finally be like her
this is nice
all the lights off, I dance alone
my silhouette lined in brass like a saxophone
think I might walk to a produce stand
and hold the future in my hands because I know can
this is nice
|
||||
11. |
Petrichor
03:53
|
|||
I love the rainfall
I love the road
I take love very serious except that i don’t
I love parking lots at two a.m.
move all the cars
I’m gonna dance.
|
Louvena the Scout New Jersey
pop-rock, rocket pops, poprocks, indie stuff, indiana stuff, music to drive to or clean to or look longingly at the moon wishing you were there instead of earth to
Louvena the Scout is Valeri Lohrman.
Streaming and Download help
Louvena the Scout recommends:
If you like Louvena the Scout, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp